Interviews >> Sonia Choquette                                                                         

Sonia Choquette

(USA)

A few years ago, under the strains of personal hardships, I embarked on a mission to try and alleviate my (at the time) painful experiences. So I began reading. What else? Books about subjects that didn’t fit my image of the world at the time. Books that talked about far-out topics, unusual and exotic, some truly fresh from La-la Land. Perhaps, I thought, there is more out there that I wasn’t even curious to explore, and what if that land at the end of the known universe held the secrets of a new and better life?

That is how it started. After a while, I realized that the new ideas I was being introduced to, even the La-la Land ones,  might be good for me not only during “hard times” but permanently. A new way of looking at life. Or old ways that had never been investigated. During that time (and many times afterwards) I found the inspiration to seek and read many books I would have never considered reading otherwise. Enter Sonia Choquette, a … psychic.

Educated at the Universities of Denver and the Sorbonne in Paris, Sonia was born and raised in the United States, Denver to be exact, by a Romanian mother and a Canadian father. She herself speaks French and has lived in France for five years; she is no stranger to various aspects of the life of an immigrant or foreigner. That’s about all I knew about her, from a few brief synopses I had read on Amazon.com, but it was enough to attract me to see what she is about. Then I discovered the book “True Balance”, a book she wrote for those who are interested in living their life in order and harmony with themselves and the world. I tried to put my skepticism aside, read it, and lived it. It is truly soothing. Sonia’s message has less to do with wind chimes and crystals and more to do with practical, common sense and often times profound suggestions for being in the world.

In August of 2004, while in Chicago – Sonia’s town of residence – I called her for an interview. Would she like to speak to me about immigrants and refugees? Did she have any advice? She agreed and so we spoke for fifteen minutes.

I started with thanking her for this opportunity. She graciously acknowledged it and delved right in:

Sonia: "The first thing to say about the experience of an immigrant is that people are like a tree whose roots have been cut off. Fortunately the human spirit is regenerative but only if you acknowledge that you have suffered a major psychic wound, even if you move under the best of conditions. So you can build new roots.

I moved to France, for example, for five years, and had the most wonderful time but it was still painful in the beginning and I ended up in the hospital from stress."

Sonia recommended her book “True Balance” as being the most helpful one, of those she wrote, for new immigrants (a prolific writer, Sonia is an accomplished author; see the end of the interview for a list of her books). But since that book is written for people in general, I was wondering if she had any advice for immigrants in particular, for people who have a hard time growing new roots.

To give me an answer Sonia used a “technical” word, if you will: chakra. It comes from Sanskrit, it means “wheel” and in Buddhism and other Eastern religions it is believed that the chakras (seven basic ones, possibly more) hold all the “information” about your life. They act a little like the hard drive in your computer, storing information, but they are also little power plants that fuel your body with various types of energy. The first (or root) chakra is responsible for physical survival: food, shelter, physical safety.

Sonia: "I think what you should do is say that relocating to a new country is a tremendous disruption to your root chakra and it is important to understand that specifically your root charka is your identity, your sense of security, your sense of basic needs and your physical well being.

When you move these things become, first of all, in most cases legitimately challenged: there are survival issues such as the lack of money, of an adequate place to live. These are all root chakra issues. And secondly, it is important to understand that the human spirit needs to be grounded in order to be productive.

So one of the most important orders of the day is to make it a priority to get as positively grounded as you can. That means - for one - don’t just rely on the people receiving you here (that’s even if you have any), don’t just rely on your family; become aware of what resources are in your community: language classes and entertainment places so you can laugh and have some fun. Don’t sit around and be too afraid and hold back. The sooner you can take care of your basic soul needs, not just physical needs, the quicker you’ll start to heal. And it still takes a minimum of a year."

Cristina: "At least a year and I know people who have been in the United States for twenty years and they speak the language, they have taken care of their physical needs but they are still not happy. Not quite adjusted."

Sonia: "On the soul level."

Cristina: "Right."

Sonia: "And part of it is because they have not let go of the old and they are not fully invested in the present."

Cristina: "I think that’s a very tricky thing for many, many people. What does it mean to let go of the past?"

Sonia: "You let go of the past by accepting that it was your choice to come here and that the choice of clinging to the past no longer serves you. Take from it what has enriched your life, but you don’t cling to it as if you are in a state of chronic loss or you will not thrive.

And you must also remember what brought you here. For most people it is survival. But you need to find ways to courageously connect to the community here. Ways to assimilate.

You don’t have to give up your identity. Just broaden it and connect with things here that attract you. Ask yourself what things about the new place attract you that you want to become familiar with? It IS a choice. Perhaps it starts out with taking English classes, but maybe you need to take a cooking class. Maybe take an art class. I know that for a lot of people, when they are in survival mode, there is no energy left but these things are very important.

Maybe you can go to an American church part of the time not just to your insulated community. Broaden your horizon.

If you keep your eyes only on your small community you run the risk of feeling isolated. And many people do. Then the answer is to remember that you have choices. And you can make choices that feed your soul as well as your body. Invite people in, or go to them. Of course it’s uncomfortable. It took me six months to go out to lunch with someone in France. But eventually I was happy I did it.

Look at the new people as people who will be interested in you and will be happy to know you, be happy to bring new gifts to you."

Cristina: "Another very important aspect of an immigrant life is, I think, language. Even though a lot of people master it on a functional level, language carries a lot of emotion. When you talk to your friends or your family in your native language, it’s a different feeling…."

Sonia: "Yes… I am a French speaking person and there were many times, especially when I was in the hospital, when I just didn’t have the means to convey my angst. But also, language freed me, French language freed me of habits and behaviors and even an identity that was heavy, that I no longer wanted.

So you could actually use language to reinvent yourself. You can look at language as a means to try and become a new person. When you move to a different place, people don’t know you. They know nothing about you so you can present to them whoever you want to be! That’s very exciting! By the choice of words you choose to learn you can actually become somebody a lot bigger than you ever thought possible, where you came from."

Cristina: "I think that scares a lot of people!"

(laughter)

Sonia: "I would say look at language not just as a prohibitive force, but as a liberating force. Maybe it takes years for you to be able to express or read emotion in a new language, but you can use language to take you to a new place of identity. Maybe you can say for example “I’m a writer” in English and you would never be able to say that in Romanian."

Cristina: "That’s for sure. It happened to me!"

Sonia: "And in America people say “Great! That’s great to know”. I would say rather than fight the frustration, use language to support the new version of you that you are trying to create."

Cristina:" How about the people in your family who do not manage to adjust and you are sort of torn between them and the new “you”?"

Sonia: "The first thing you need to do – and it’s part of the first chakra – you need to be as resourceful as possible and to depend on your family in survival ways as shortly as possible so that you can have a relationship with them that is not based on survival because that brings out the worst in people.

So as quickly as you can – and it’s hard, I understand – but as quickly as you can do whatever it takes to give you a degree of financial independence because otherwise your relationship is going to be co-dependent. And very survival based which is usually negative. There is no way around it.

I do think that one of the antidotes is humor. And nobody has a sense of humor like an immigrant…

I also think that what you need to do is consciously, pro-actively affect that you have choices. The fact that you are here is a choice. Choices… I just want to keep saying that. Always remember that whatever the appearances, you do have choices. If nothing else, you can choose what you think. If you have to depend on your family, be grateful. Don’t fight them. If they are not resonating to the new you, then be selective in what you share. The more you can assimilate to your new American system, the more quickly your life will begin to thrive. So listen to tapes, listen to the radio, and listen to positive CD’s. You can rent them at the library.

And really assimilate the “can do” mentality of America. That’s why you are here! Whatever doesn’t work, the “can do” mentality does. Go to the library and ask for tapes on positive thinking and listen to them. Even if you don’t understand all the words you’ll get the intention. Listen to that in the car instead of your old radio station. Feed the positive side of you and there are ways to do it: get a library card, go to the library. Take advantage of what’s there. It will really help your spirit."

In the last minute of the conversation, during a few seconds of silence, Sonia seemed to remember one last piece of advice:

Sonia: "I also think it’s important to keep beautiful music available to feed your spirit when you are in very difficult times. So have beautiful music available and play it."

I hadn’t even thought of that. But how true it is! I remember the days when, as a child, I looked at the adults around me and couldn’t help but notice that the ones who didn’t respond to music were the rigid ones, the ones I didn't like to be around. I feel horrified sometimes when I realize that, some days, I am the same way. And, coincidentally, the days when song, dance and art can’t reach me, are the bad ones, the rigid ones, the days when not a lot goes right. I already knew the answer, but I wanted to make sure:

Cristina: "Whatever speaks to you?"

Sonia: "Yes, whatever speaks to your heart, to keep you afloat in difficult times. I spent twenty-five days in the hospital in France and I listened to my walkman all the time. It got me through it! I was all by myself over Christmas. It’s a very sad story. But my walkman got me through it. So that’s a thing you can do to keep your spirits up."

And after I hung up the phone I thought why can’t we listen to our childhood songs, or any piece of music that lifts us, why can’t we read our childhood story books to soothe our feeling of not feeling at home, or why not search for new ones in a library here? Why not try to recreate everything that we feel we miss? It takes a little effort, but it is absolutely worth it.

Sonia thinks the book “True Balance” can really help people. I do too. It helped me a lot. She also recommends “Your Heart’s Desire”, but points out that this is the correct order.

Thank you, Sonia, for a wonderful conversation.

About Sonia:

A masterful visionary and mystic committed to activating the highest vibrational and intuitive potential in all, she is the best-selling author of eight books published in seventeen countries: The Psychic Pathway (Three Rivers Press), Your Heart's Desire (Three Rivers Press), The Wise Child (Three Rivers Press), True Balance (Three Rivers Press), Your Psychic Pathway to New Beginnings (Clarkson Potter/ Publishers, July 2002), Your Psychic Pathway to Joy (Clarkson Potter Publishers, July 2002), The Diary of a Psychic (Hay House/Publishers July 2003), Trust Your Vibes (Hay House 2004) and numerous audio editions.

Sonia has been a guest on ABC, NBC, CNN, The Wisdom Channel, and WGN as well as featured in New Woman Magazine (where they rated Your Heart's Desire as one of the 10 best courses to change your life), New Age Magazine, USA Today, Body, Mind and Soul, Chicago Tribune, and Crain's Chicago Business Journal. She has also been a personal psychic advisor to such New Age Leaders as Louise Hay, Julia Cameron, Caroline Myss, Dr. Wayne Dyer, pop icon Billy Corgan of the former Smashing Pumpkins rock band, and psychic consultant to international business leaders such as Charlotte Beers, Advertising CEO and former head of the Campaign for America, appointed by President Bush.

For more information about Sonia please see her website, www.soniachoquette.com.

FEATURED BOOK:

Disappearance of the Outside: A Manifesto for Escape

by Andrei Codrescu
Taking into account his own exile from Stalinist Romania, as well as the plights of such greats as Garcia Marquez, Breton, Dada, Kundera, and Milosz, Codrescu issues a call for those living in a free society to reach beyond a benign reality founded in technology and commercialism by tapping into their imaginations and striving for a better, evolutionary existence.

Sonia Choquette. (first generation born in the USA)
"The first thing to say about the experience of an immigrant is that people are like a tree whose roots have been cut off. Fortunately the human spirit is regenerative but only if you acknowledge that you have suffered a major psychic wound, even if you move under the best of conditions. So you can build new roots." Read more...